...? okay. first of all, i'm not being 'extra'. this is just my honest feeling. i love music. or at least i did, until quite recently. i was doing good with piano music. my grades were always distinction or merit. never below. but for about two years, i suffered from a bad break-up (well, the guy didn't /actually/ know i was head-over-heels for him. but i was. and then he started going out with a woman senior to him. it broke me apart. i was younger than him. but i know, it was his personal preference. i gave up the chemistry degree i was doing and came back home. all that time, i was studying music in the background. (sigh) okay. i didn't like chemistry. but went to the institute anyway. then i saw that guy and felt inspired to keep doing what i love. even there, i was the pianist and played for all the annual concerts with the orchestra.) anyway, after the downward spiral, i went back to my old coach and started training for the final piano examination. i also started working part-time, as an assistant to my coach. but when i finally did my last exam, i was barely able to pass. now i feel like i've lost my inspiration to carry on treading the rest of the path... i know, this sounds whiny and...extra? but really, is there anyone who can help me? i'm not and was not honestly involved in a relationship with anyone. i've never really had the time, or the need for a long-lasting partnership. so naturally, the only people who are close to me are my parents, my angsty sister, several close relations and family friends. my life seems a mess compared to others my age. i've never enjoyed facebook (i was there for a couple of years, while doing the degree). this blog is a good friend. and twitter is more useful, cause there i can write stuff and enjoy 'roleplay' (lol, i like being myself, through different characters). but now, i wonder if there's something i need to change about my life. my coach is not the most helpful person in the world. they simply make me feel insignificant and useless. especially during working hours. but i don't mind. recently though, i've thought to find a different teacher to do my diploma in music. but that's where i feel quite lost. what if i fail to surprise the audience? is there anyone who can give me a word of encouragement?........
~yours sincerely.
